Witch Please! Why Coming Out of the Broom Closet is so Hard

Witch Please! October by far is the witchiest time of the year for me. It’s funny how it’s OK to dress up like a witch for Halloween but to actually own your true witchiness can be far scarier.

What is a witch anyway? My personal definition is, someone who has a strong relationship with the forces of nature and uses those relationships to enhance their lives. A shaman is the same, but from different traditions and highly trained. The witches dictum is “as above, so below.” The elemental and cosmic forces are not just a reflection, but also a part of you, thus you can connect with them to empower you.

Dogmatic religion and even Hollywood have done a great job of demonizing ritual and ceremony as if by doing so, you’re playing with something dark and evil!

You know why?

🌙 Because the practice empowers you and an empowered person is harder to control. The one’s who demonized the practice knew this and needed the majority to feel like their salvation lies outside of themselves, thus making the mass easier to control.

🌙 Because the practice acknowledges the feminine arts…and the sacred feminine endangers the narrative. Let’s burn them all instead and make sure to drive it into the hearts of the collective that they are evil.

We have been strongly, socially conditioned to FEAR the witches.

🌚 How many of you practice in secret because you are afraid of what other people will think?

🌚 You put away your altars and sacred tools when you have visitors, so you don’t have to explain?

🌚 You’re afraid that your children will become endangered or harassed if they found out their mother was doing witchy things?

🌚 You’ll be labeled, ostracized and called crazy.. or not taken seriously anymore. Your reputation could be ruined! How many of you think I’m crazy right now?It’s hard coming out of the broom closet because those feelings are REAL and you feel the persecutions of the past, in your bones as fear. Your body holds the memory of the collective. Plus there is a high chance that you would still be ostracized for it in many circles.

person in black hat standing in forest
Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com


You were socially conditioned to fear the witches much less own you inner witch.

Why again? Because the practices empower you and don’t fit into the narrative of control.

The good news is that true power, the power of LOVE, rests within you. More and more people are yearning for that true connection. It is our work to undo the systems of power that confuse us into forgetting that. The time is now to reclaim that part of you that is ready to be witnessed and heard. It’s time to awaken the sacred within.

Nature’s Lessons in ABUNDANCE

Today, I started thinking about Nature, Abundance and the INITIATION course that we have starting in October and this whole string of words came through unexpectedly.. my voice, but not necessarily my words:

Nature’s Lessons in ABUNDANCE:

Abundance is natural and not something to strive after. As a force of nature yourself, you are ALREADY aligned with abundance. All it takes is for you to see how it is built into the laws of nature and that you are also aligned with the same laws.

One dandelion seed blows in the wind and gives roots for thousands of other seeds to grow. This is how nature works. Even in the most abysmal and harsh environments on this planet, some form of life always finds a way to evolve and survive.

white dandelion flower shallow focus photography
Photo by Nita on Pexels.com

Humans starving, is not from a lack of food on this planet, but from social constructs and narratives about how food and wealth should be distributed. It’s a very complex collective human story that we all play a part in and you have your own narrative. Your narrative could have been largely inherited based on family, race, gender and/or creed.

Some narratives are so deeply entrenched that it seems virtually impossible to separate yourself from them. Some of us even cling to the story because it gives us a strong sense of purpose and identity. We’ll even develop a whole moral code around the narratives.. and once that’s done, strong attachments and ego identities are birthed, making those bonds even harder to break.

Humans are MASTERS of creating super complex systems based off of narratives fueled by strong emotions, traumas, imaginings, beliefs and ideas that are not in anyway concrete, but we make them so through our own stubbornness and righteousness.

Our minds, bodies & hearts harden around these narratives, and then we forget. We begin to see and experience life through the lens of our wounds, and LACK settles into our hearts. Then life, being as precious as it is, will start to reflect and mirror back to you your wounds because you are that powerful. And because you are a creative master, you then begin to create an abundance of LACK because lack is what you put your FAITH in.

Yet out in nature, just like the dandelion seed, an acorn drops with the dream of a forest inside of it.. and nothing but the FAITH, intelligence and tenacity to birth that forest through. Not for a moment does it doubt. Abundance and creation is the only law it knows and it does not withhold. Even in it’s death, it’s compost becomes fertilizer to birth anew.

If you could just in a moment of GRACE see the truth that ABUNDANCE already IS and that you hold the capacity to birth any dream through. It’s the nature of things. It’s your nature and there’s nothing special you have to do. It’s your birth right.

Your obstacle is that you put your FAITH in the wrong things: your delusions, broken hearts, moral codes and constructs.. making others wrong so that you can be right, withholding love and over complicating things. Luckily for you, nature also enjoys making a beautiful spectacle of letting dead things go. Unless you are enjoying your narrative of lack, let’s take a page from nature’s handbook and drop the delusions & dead things, once and for all.

Big love & magick,

For more on connecting with nature for everyday magick, join us for our upcoming INITIATION. Your inner shaman is waiting.

The Sacred Elements

In the Andean native tradition, the 4 elements have Sacred Words:

___

Earth: To Want

Water: To Be Silent

Air: To Know

Fire: To Dare

___

I learned them from a Peruvian Shaman and Wise Woman several years ago on retreat. To embody the sacred elements is life long and always deepening. To know them is also to be both wildly free and deeply nurtured.

The Elements, are largely where my personal practice began, enmeshed with yoga and other healing arts. I’m a mutt, a mish mosh of all sorts, but nature is in my backbone and roots. I was born in Peru so I was naturally drawn to the world of mountains, rivers and forests when I began my journey in awakening and healing.

Each of the sacred elements live within us, not just fueling our bodies, but also nurturing our words, emotions, purpose and intelligence. We are designed to understand and see beyond our ordinary 5 senses and it’s through our deeper wisdom that we can make the best decisions for ourselves.

This organic body suit we wear is perfectly designed for living in this world and once we understand that our body and heart are fueled by the relationship we have with the forces of nature, we know that we are never alone.

As we go through the seasons in our lives, we may find that certain elements sit with us for a while, to help us process the changes we are going through. Thus come in the SACRED WORDS.

Which one of these sacred words are you currently experiencing? Mine is To Be Silent and to simply allow myself to be processed. To let the waters wash over me and cleanse away the dust of delusions and misconception.

The Elements are where I always return whenever life gets uncertain. Mother Earth is almost always certain to hold the answers that we seek.

To learn more about connecting with elements through ceremony and everyday living, check out our upcoming course INITIATION.

Medusa- Goddess of Sacred Rage

Medusa is mythical, compared to the feminine ascended masters we’ve explored so far, however no one embodies Sacred Rage like she does and is the most misunderstood of the goddesses, just as rage is one of the most misunderstood of our emotions. When Medusa came into my life with her potent medicine, it wasn’t in the way that she is normally perceived as an evil monster. She had snakes in her hair, wild and untamed but her story is that of surviving atrocities and being punished for crimes she did not commit. Even in her death, she was murdered and used by Perseus to turn the Kraken into stone.

For those unfamiliar with her origin story, Medusa was a beautiful maiden, a virgin priestess of Athena whom she adored. Athena and the god Poseidon were rivals. To anger Athena, Poseidon saw Medusa on the temple steps, raped her and fled, leaving her weak, vulnerable, and violated. Medusa prayed to Athena for guidance and forgiveness but instead of showing mercy, Athena cursed Medusa for betraying her. Medusa was exiled to an island to live by herself afraid of her powers and ANGRY for what was done to her. Wouldn’t you be too? She was destined to spend the rest of her life alone, turning men to stone who were sent to kill her.

Now, take a moment to just breathe and feel the emotions that may have been stirred within you, from her story. For me, it stirred up something primal and old. A feeling that had been within me for a long while yet tucked away because it felt inappropriate and unsafe. I mean, how many of us were taught how to process and assimilate anger? Most of us were taught that we shouldn’t show anger, especially as a light worker or a spiritual person… and let’s be honest, anger and rage can be scary, especially for those who like to stay in control. It doesn’t always feel good. Yet the emotion serves a purpose, otherwise, why would we have been given it in our divine design.

Anger and rage are emotions that come when we feel like we have been DISEMPOWERED in some way. Of course, it’s not an emotion we want to stew in for long periods of time, but there is often a message there for us to reclaim a part of ourselves that perhaps we temporarily forgot.

How can owning your rage be SACRED medicine to reclaim your sovereignty?

  • By owning your dissociated anger, you actually become LESS triggered by current volatile situations. Anger is no longer a trauma response from a past experience, but instead good feedback on how you are feeling disempowered.
  • By understanding that your rage and anger aren’t dirty, you can reclaim all the times you have ever felt disempowered, hurt, blamed, betrayed, or taken advantage of… and that you have a right to stand up for yourself when it is necessary.
  • You actually become MORE loving, understanding and compassionate because you are no longer looking at life through the lens of old wounds.

Sometimes, the most loving thing that you can do for yourself, for your child if you are parent, for your business if you are an entrepreneur or for your relationships… is to let down your wild, untamed medusa hair, show your fangs, let out your claws, shine your eyes and say NO, set appropriate boundaries and take your power back!

Isis- Mother Goddess

“Isis– Mother Goddess, Queen of the Golden Light, Mistress of Magick and Earth, Priestess of the Sirius Star Lineage

I am you and you are me.

Give me your sight, your wisdom,

Your power and your wings to fly,

Dance with me now and show me what I need to know.”

I had the pleasure of being immersed in the life altering alchemy of the mother goddess herself, Isis also known as “She of a Thousand Names.” Her medicine came when it was time to dissolve the unconscious commitments made to fear the sovereign power within me.

If you came into this incarnation to know your true self, to be of service to others and/or to be an ambassador for this planet, then you were most likely inoculated with conditioning’s that keep your sovereignty suppressed. In your truth, you are boundless, unlimited, supreme and free. You are Pure Potential!

If you take a look at the history of the light bringers and magick makers that came before us, it is no secret that they posed an extreme threat to “those who were in charge,” leading to witch hunts and the suppression of many cultures.

We are now in a Golden Age of being openly and actively supported in dissolving those old social conditioning’s, religious constructs, vows, oaths and soul contracts coded within our carbon based DNA, such as:

  • Vows of poverty
  • Guilt for abundance and wealth
  • Shame in sexuality
  • Subconscious beliefs your gifts are bad & dangerous
  • Self agreed slavery to any power outside of yourself
  • Fear of being ridiculed and exiled by your community
  • Suffocation of your voice

Isis mentors us in clearing the pathway of anything that keeps us from knowing our sovereign divinity. She doesn’t just come as a mentor but also as a mirror of your own potential. She, nor do any of the Goddess archetypes, ask for your allegiance or worship. They are actually here to break that cycle of looking for power outside of yourself.

It is Her will for you to align with the success and abundance that is your divine inheritance. Your inheritance includes all of your earthly needs and heart’s highest desires being met. Drop the guilt and shame my spiritual friends. It is time! This doesn’t mean that you become a bad or evil person, but that you become free to do the work that fulfills your heart and serves this planet.

Remember that the scope is far more reaching than just healers, coaches and teachers. Your power, light and influence exudes into whatever “work” you do.

We  work with the influence of Isis in my ASCENSION program. We invoke her energy to help us in the clearing of our self doubt, so that we can accelerate our awakening to sovereignty and grace. It’s all available to you right now!

In love and magick!

silhouette of woman standing on dock

Intuition vs. Trauma Response

Hello my magickal friends! If you have ever questioned your intuition, then you may want to read up. Have you ever held yourself back, from taking impactful action, because you convinced yourself that your fear or trauma response, had your best interest at heart… and you called that your intuition? I know that I have. Most of us, at some point, have confused a trauma response with a true intuitive message.  They both run through the same systems in our body so it can be tricky to discern one from the other. As a long time energy practitioner, yoga teacher, student of life, and personal development junkie I’ve been honing in on understanding my true intuitive instincts, so that I can tell the difference and make better decisions for myself.

There really isn’t a “one size fits all” guide to intuition, because we all experience it differently in our bodies, and you must learn how your intuition works through you. However, there are some commonalities that I have found helpful. Here are a few ways to tell the difference between an intuitive message and a trauma response:

  • Intuition is anchored in the PRESENT whereas a trauma response is triggered from the PAST. A trauma response is formed from experiences in the past that we don’t want to repeat. It comes from an internal desire, to protect you from harm and hurt that you have experienced before. A trauma response will feel familiar and safe, wanting to keep things the same, because change is considered dangerous.

    An intuitive message will feel fresh with no baggage from the past attached. Since an intuitive message comes from the present moment, it may come with a strong urge to act now. It’s common for the urge to not make any sense because it’s a new framework for you. That might feel threatening to the old you, which is why your intuition will play on your bravery and courage.
  • Intuition is clear and usually has no emotional attachment, whereas a trauma response will often trigger your central nervous system, causing feelings of anxiety, stress, and fear. A trauma response very often comes after an intuitive message and will try to convince you not to act on your intuition. Your trauma response will create thoughts like, “What are you thinking,” “You’ll fail,” What will other people think?” Those thoughts are not your intuition but instead, protective thought patterns. If you do feel an emotion from your intuition, it will most likely be life affirming and loving… but rarely fear based UNLESS you are in clear and present danger, like being chased by a bear.
  • Intuition will come in moments of space and when your mind is clear. Some examples for me are right when I wake up in the morning and my mind hasn’t had time to fill up with clutter. I will often receive very clear messages on what to do that day. There is also something about being in water, like in the shower or bath, that is conducive to intuitive thoughts. Being in nature, or practices that calm the mind, will create space for intuition. Making a decision when you are in the middle of fear or scarcity, however, will most likely be a trauma response and not an intuitive response. If you can help it, I would recommend not making any major life changing decisions from fear, sadness, or scarcity.
  • Your Intuition will never play on your naivety or desperation. This is a big one and will protect you from being taken advantage of. A trauma response, coming from desperation, can lead you down a mucky road of manipulation. Here’s a hint: If you feel a wounded inner child, inner teenager, or a wounded adult coming up from inside of you, STOP! Breath, and connect with your highest most magickal self. Remember that your intuition will not play on your emotions, including false excitement. Your intuition equals discernment and empowerment.
  • The voice of your intuition can be soft, firm or sometimes loud if it needs to be… but it will not be angry, bullying, afraid, judgmental, or weak. The voice of your intuition will speak up when it matters and will uphold your sacred purpose. It will give you clear direction and tell you what you need to hear, but not necessarily what you want to hear.

Regardless, your intuitive voice will never belittle or frighten you… but it might disappoint your ego from time to time. Remember there is no rule book to intuition, however regulating your nervous system and doing things that help to clear old traumas and fears from the body, will help clear the path for your intuition. Consider yoga, counseling, energy healing, meditation, and personal development to help you with that. You don’t have to go at it alone.

Get to know what your intuition feels like in your body and practice developing it with simple techniques. Learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin and TRUST YOURSELF!!! You hold the wisdom of all the ages. Believe it and believe in yourself.

 Be compassionate toward yourself, you will screw up and make the wrong decisions sometimes. Give yourself grace, take the wisdom, learn, grow, and move on. It will only make you wiser and stronger.

Big love & magick!

Why You Need Shadow Work in Your Life

I decided to make this little list on how shadow work could be beneficial to you in your life. I have been practicing it myself for several years now, not really knowing that this was what I was doing, but my desire to be more FREE {from my own emotional and mental trappings} lead me to this work and the aspects of yoga that contribute to this path.

7 REASONS YOU NEED SHADOW WORK IN YOUR LIFE NOW:

1. You feel like you have tried EVERYTHING, but in Bill Murray style via Ground Hog Day, you keep waking up to the same old story over and over again.

2. You know that you have enormous potential and talent, but need some help getting out of your own way to see them through. Using your disappointments as a stick to beat yourself up with… well that’s just getting old.

3. Your SOUL is calling and you can no longer ignore it. You know that it is time to connect with yourself and others on a deeper, more personal and meaningful level. It’s time to quit running from yourself.

4. You feel powerless, hurt, or bitter about not being able to create a world around you that feels beautiful and reflects your highest desires.

5. You have magic. You may or may not know what it is but you are ready to unlock your personal magic and make a difference in the world.

6. You are ready to RELEASE your energy from the grips of fear, lack, worry, panic, sadness or depression so that your energy can instead be used to create a life that is meaningful and satisfying.

7. You deserve to be free: free to express yourself fully… to be who you are totally, without shame or fear, without hiding in habits, addictions and aversions.

Shadow work is the process of making the subconscious conscious… of leaning into yourself, even the parts you never dared to love, and meeting them with radical self acceptance. We go through a systematic process, which includes energy work, that exposes you to yourself and shows you where you are holding on to fears, resentments, beliefs and patterns that have been running your life.

When I first heard, through meditation, that I was a “shadow worker” I had no clue as to what that meant. I’ve heard of light workers, but shadow worker sounded rather ominous. The process of becoming a shadow priestess was not through taking courses, but by going through initiations with the Dark Mothers such as Kali and Lilith, and also moving through my own crud with the insights and processes of how to access and move through the subconscious.

I’m pretty positive that all of my yoga training, reiki attunements, magical studies and hypnotherapy certifications acted as catalysts to help me along my path… and that all of my challenges are grounds for my personal training. It has been a process that has taken me 20 years to cultivate and is still being refined each day. The work is actually never complete and it is a pleasure being able to share it so that other magic makers, light workers and creatives are able to unleash their own personal power and talents.

 

Forever a Student

Hello lovelies ❤️

I spent the weekend in yoga teacher training diving deep into Ayurveda, the elements, the Bhagavad Gita, the meaning of Santosha (contentment), and of course yoga asana through adjustments.

As a teacher, I am still always a student absorbing it ALL in. The learning and growing never stops. My favorite tidbits taken from above:

▫️A Y U R V E D A- Don’t wait until you are full blown sick and anxious to take care of you. Any sign of dis-ease, no matter how small is worth investigating and taking care of.

▫️ The E L E M E N T S- They all exist inside of you as you are made up of all of the stuff that makes up the earth. Therefore, honoring the earth is honoring you and you have a very real connection to the earth through the elements. 🌎

▫️The G I T A- Follow your Dharma with devotion and non-attachment. 🙏🏻

▫️ S A N T O S H A- Don’t gloss over contentment with fake smiles and affirmations. Be true to where you are. Allow yourself to fully be where you are right now, even if there is sadness, grief or anger. In the presence of your self awareness, those feelings transmute to grace and freedom. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Remember: no mud, no lotus. 🌸

▫️ A S A N A- Our aim is to align with the Prana Shakti. Don’t take it all too serious. Laughter is one of the best ways to align with grace. 😅😉

To your expansion and freedom! ✨❤️✨

The Divine Vine

I just came across the artwork of Pablo Amaringo and have been obsessed! He was a Peruvian artist and shaman who captured images of his Ayahuasca visions in his art. This is one of his masterful paintings that really spoke to me.

The intensity of my one time Ayahuasca journey is captured in this image as I see remnants of my own experience, especially of the serpent, which is said to be the spirit of the vine itself. In the Andean tradition {which is another side of the indigenous Peruvian culture}, the serpent is also the guardian of the underworld, or subconscious realm which is interesting, considering that the “divine vine” most often reveals the mystery of the subconscious.

Whether I will do Ayahuasca again, I don’t really know. I’m not usually drawn to psychedelics but I felt a strong calling from the vine during a time in my life when I needed healing that I wasn’t able to break through on my own. I traveled to the Sacred Valley in Peru, where a friend of mine and I were leading a retreat. While she took the group to Machu Picchu, I stayed behind in Pisac and did the ceremony with a female shaman in the area.

I didn’t have anything prebooked or planned. At the time, the only guidance I received was that the ceremony was going to take place in the Sacred Valley when we were on retreat. I only had one day in which I could do the ceremony, so I asked some friends for recommendations on who could lead this for me. The usual shaman wasn’t available since it was all very last minute, so my friend gave me the number of Karen, the shaman, to see if she was available. She was! So I went to meet her in town that same afternoon, to make sure we had a good connection.

We planned the ceremony for that same evening and I was the only one! Usually Ayahuasca ceremonies are done in larger groups of people, but when I arrived to her home that evening, it was just me, Karen and her husband who was playing the instruments during our journey. Of course Karen only spoke Spanish and she told me a little about her lineage and how her mother and grandmother passed down the tradition to her.

Needless to say, it was one HELL of a night. I hardly even drink alcohol.. hell I’ve never even smoked pot before so here I go on a trip with one of the most powerful plant medicines out there. It lasted ALL NIGHT LONG until the following morning when I began to hear the townspeople stirring about. I won’t go into the details of my journey, as that would require a story of it’s own, but I will say that there was A LOT of pain. All I experienced was the pain and not at one moment did I get a taste of the blissful, rapture oneness. Instead, I went into the depths of my own personal hell, where I stayed for about 6 hours, and I began to understand the meaning of “eternal hell and damnation.” Of course it was all my own creation and the journey did provide some very deep healing/ understanding that I would have NEVER figured out on my own.

At the very end, as I was coming down, I asked spirit, “why did you not give me even one morsel of the divine bliss?” and spirit replied, “you do not need drugs to know GOD.” That lesson, I will never forget. 🙂

Of course, everyone has their own journey, lessons and healing to go through… and apparently mine was to know how we create our own hell. Makes sense now as a shadow worker. I will say this- Ayahuasca is POWERFUL medicine to be highly respected and NOT to be used for recreational purposes. If you do, well that’s just dumb. Till this day, I feel the cosmic serpent, some days stirring more than others.. almost as a remembrance of a sacred thread in time.

Thank you for hanging in here, reading this. I guess all to say, ask for healing and it will be provided. You’ve just got to listen and be willing to go on the journey. You are never alone. Also, so you could check out this magnificent and mystical artist!

Blessed by Saint Francis

*This is a repost that was accidentally lost and deleted*

I am amused but not surprised that today, October 4th, is the day we celebrate the work and ministry of Saint Francis. It’s so divine and synchronistic considering that I’ve been feeling imbibed by his spirit since my return from Italy and Assisi a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t even know it was the day of his feast until I happened to come across the notice in someone else’s feed. When I did, I knew that I have been struck by grace once again.

Let me share a little of my one day in Assisi. Nothing dramatic actually happened in Italy, but ever since, my heart has been broken wide open by the presence and power of this saint. I never knew! I’m not even a practicing Catholic, which is why it has struck me so. I’ve learned that no matter your religion, race or creed, if you open your self to the grace of the great mystics, saints and sages you will be touched.

I went to Italy purely for vacation, with no mission but to simply visit and explore. Little did I know that I would have one of the most mystical and profound experiences of grace that was no part of a plan besides that of the divine. When we arrived in Assisi, the first evening we explored and settled in. I wasn’t allowed to enter the Basilica of Saint Francis because the shorts I was wearing were too short. The next day, more properly attired, I entered the Basilica alone without the rest of my family. Wasn’t planned this way, it just worked out that way. I went down to the lower level where lie his remains and felt a sublime invitation to go kneel beside his tomb. With no intent or prayer in mind, I knelt. Then came a very strong vibrational feeling of his presence. It was then that I realized I was in a supremely Holy and Sacred space. After kneeling for a little while in quiet, I felt like I should pray something so of course what comes to mind is the Prayer of Saint Francis. I recite to myself a few time “Let me be an instrument of thy peace.”
That was it and apparently that was the only invitation I had to give for him to come in and blow my heart wide open. After I left his tomb, I felt all hot, sweaty and strange inside. Instantly I knew I was in for a ride.  I said to myself, “Uh Oh, what did I just do.”

To dig it in deeper (not on purpose), later that day my family and I visited the Basilica of Saint Chiara who worked very closely with Saint Francis during his time. I also felt very strongly her presence down near her tomb. Within one of her sanctuaries is the original crucifix of San Damiano that St. Francis and St. Chiara would pray to. As I was approaching the crucifix, on a table to the side was a brochure that said at the very top “PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS BEFORE THE CRUCIFIX OF SAN DAMIANO.” Of course, this I could not resist, so I sat before the crucifix repeating whole heartedly the prayer several times,  and to add to the mood it was storming outside with the lights flickering on and off the entire time. With that prayer, not necessarily intentionally, I had sealed the deal. I knew instantly after I was done that I had opened myself to something much bigger. These are the words to the prayer:

” O most High and glorious God,
   enlighten the darkness of my heart.
Give me right faith,
certain hope,
perfect love
and deep humility.
O Lord, give me sense and discernment
.in order to carry out your true and holy will.”
Amen

We capped off our time in Assisi by visiting the beautiful location where St. Francis went to retire in the wilderness.  The next day we left Assisi and continued through Florence and Venice before eventually coming home. It wasn’t until arriving home that I would begin to feel the exhaustion, movement and agitation stirred from the trip and “initiation”… days of confusion & fog, followed by brief moments of clarity & understanding… granted the jet lag didn’t help at all. I craved solitude while loud places aggravated the hell out of me. We had some work done on our house while we were gone, so when we returned, our home was in disorder with everything misplaced and a lot of our stuff, including junk pulled out of the closets. The state of our home mirrored the state of my insides, as if everything had been brought to the surface from the deep closets of my subconscious. I spent the next few days clearing and reorganizing physically, mentally and emotionally. Moments of unhealed, heartbreak would come flooding to the surface and the release, even though painful, felt so sweet, nourishing and healing. I could see how I was contributing to my own feelings of disappointment through my thoughts, actions and behaviors.

Then P E A C E.. sweet, beautiful, peace that needed absolutely nothing from me to exist, swept through.  It would come and it would go. During one of  my hikes, when I would look down at my feet to see where I was stepping , through my mind’s eye I would see sandals and a robe stepping with me as if they were also my feet. It was strange,  yet very comforting in affirming that I was not walking alone. I could feel the essence of contentment and peace… pure grace in motion. Through out the days, more agitations would surface, then peace. Peace was definitely a theme. Then  just a couple of days ago, while on one of my hikes, I was in a place of  significant self doubt, when I had an encounter with a sweet little bird on the top of a mountain. I saw it and felt it begin to get unusually close for a wild bird. It must have been attracted to the rubies in my ring because it came to my hand and pecked at the stones! The encounter continued for about 5 minutes as it climbed on my shoes, pecked some more on my ring, stood on top of my phone (because I just had to record) and looked straight at me turning its head side to side and eventually flying away. I was divinely kissed.

I knew that one of the symbols of Saint Francis was birds as he is also considered the patron of animals and the environment; and birds have also always been greatly significant to me as symbols of my own freedom and power. As I settled down that evening, I read somewhere on line that for Saint Francis, birds symbolized spiritual freedom and growth. That the birds were a message from the Divine to keep on, to keep preaching and to not give up on his path of ministry and service.

The message became suddenly clear! My self doubt didn’t matter. We keep on anyway.. not for glory, fame, success, accomplishments or validation.. not because we are striving or trying to achieve a goal. We keep on simply for ourselves and for the liberation of our own truth as an instrument of Thy peace. A couple of days later, after that sweet encounter, is today, the day of Saint Francis. How divine it truly all is!

PEACE, PEACE, PEACE.. SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI OM