I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend celebrating Independence Day!
Freedom has been a big theme in my life and personal practice. Look at the the title of all of my yoga classes and you will see! Early on, I didn’t know what I was seeking freedom from (I only knew that I felt bad), but it became clear that it was my self imposed bondage that had me under lock; with shame, unworthiness and burden holding the key.. All deceptively coated with my idea of what perfection should be.
My body and mind felt the heaviness, in that I did not want to fully participate in my own life and escape seemed easier. But luckily I am stubbornly determined and wasn’t giving up.
As I was going through a particularly Hellish journeying with a shaman, she kept saying to me, “Feel what you are doing to yourself. I am showing you this so that you will stop!!”
I have heard the message before and at that point, I think it finally sunk in. I began to identify all of my stories and how strongly I was holding on to them. I had been feeding them for so long that they were powerful and deeply entrenched. It took all of my practice, surrender, humility, presence and determination to disempower them and it is still a journey in progress.
In doing so, life seems softer somehow with nothing to prove.. nothing to run from or to run to. Even though I can still feel the tentacles of my old beliefs creeping in, telling me that I am not OK and that I still must prove something, I pay them no mind. For once, each day can simply be a naturally unfoldment- sometimes profoundly beautiful and other days, deeply sad.
Some days are wonderfully inspired and other days are painfully empty. I have also come to know blissfully empty, which is a new one for me. I mean, I have heard of it but thought it was just a myth.
Freedom from the bondage of my old stories and freedom to just be, are what fuel my practice and teachings. I hope that you are well on your way to finding yours!