Gosh, I certainly didn’t realise what I was signing up for and still somewhat reeling from it. You were an absolute joy to work with and the trust that we built enabled me to begin opening many doors within. I am so grateful for your teaching and although at times gruelling in its intensity, your strength and tenacity kept me focused.
I arrived at your door (so to speak) broken. I had been stuck, frozen for many years with no real idea of what was needed or how to begin repairing the damage that was prohibiting me from living. I had no voice and even if I did, no idea what to communicate. I was suspended in animation and felt dead within. So confused, disorientated and overwhelmed. Cut off from life and people around me, unable to make sense of my environment and any part I could play within it.
Following a deep desire to wean myself from all prescribed psychiatric medicine over the last three years was indeed a good move on my part but I just didn’t know how to make sense of the person I was left with. I felt so weak, wrung out and able to sustain very little indeed. My life had resorted to very simple living and avoiding as much as I possibly could. Anything outside of my home & husband had become hostile territory for me to navigate. I was exhausted and struggling to benefit from sleep at all.
On occasion, I literally crawled to our sessions and could quite easily have thrown in the towel, at least a couple of times. Definitely not a course to be recommended for any one of faint heart and could aptly be described as ‘spiritual boot camp’. Your strength, commitment and ability to hold me at those times, given our proximity and working with Zoom, facilitated albeit at first, a tiny seed, of belief in me, that I could do it.
You introduced me to subjects I’d never heard of. You got me to see that myself, my body and my essence could be redirected in more wholesome ways, you spoke with words that didn’t just make sense but allowed me to join up many dots within. Almost a remembering and an awakening of the part of me that had always been there but had been suppressed from years of neglectful conditioning.
The exercises and homework slowly began to take shape and even from the early sessions I became focused and attentive to how I could identify and harness my energies to work productively for me. You introduced me to an offering of routines and rituals that began to enhance my daily patterns and before long I was establishing a foundational sense of who I really was. One of the biggest revelations was identifying my own energies as opposed to those of another. So much began to make sense. I could see where the emotional overwhelm was originating, you taught me boundaries, self-respect and my voice became lounder. You showed my where my energy leaks were emanating and how to rectify, utilize and direct them more positively. I became aware that I was taking more care of myself, determining my own needs and that I did actually matter.
Slowly I felt I was becoming alive.
I now find myself more fully able to actually land and reside in my own body. You have shown me it is safe for me to do so. I realised that for most of my life I have lived in my head because being in my body and of this world was truly, too difficult.
Already my perception of life and my part in it has taken on a whole new reality. I have focus, I have strength and determination, all of which have become sustainable. I am finding ways to relax and keep grounded and make ‘me’ a safe place to be by having a more disciplined approach to my thinking. I am directing my thoughts now rather than being a victim of them. Your sharing of the impossibility of my living my dharmic life whilst existing in this arena of survival, allows me to begin addressing some very deep seated fears. You have also shown me that I have the courage to do so.
Making sense of all of this, permits me now to enter this etheric world that I have always known but couldn’t quite access or integrate. Your ability to introduce me to the parts of myself that have always been present but had no identity was beyond invaluable. You have made me appreciate that my beliefs in the unseen, the unacknowledged and the unknown can actually become tangible and it is possible to harness and use their powers in order to live a good wholesome life.
I came to you broken and we have manged to assemble, with Kintsugi like magic, all of my scattered parts.
Thank you so very, very much.